You Were There.

The rain fell.
Slow.
Big.
Drops.
They fell. My windows were open. You were there. Calming my fluttering heart. With every drop that fell, You drew closer. Refusing to back down. Determined to get through. You know exactly what I need. Lord. Sometimes I try to stay stubborn. I try to hold my ground. But that only makes it more painful. You don't want it to be this way. But I always seem to make it happen. I always fight You. I never give in. But You are bigger than that.

You were there Lord. When I felt unseen. Invisible to those around. Wishing I could hide. Cleaning until my fingers ached. You were holding my dirty hand the whole time. You gave me joy. And a painful peace. You whispered "Just a bit longer. Your time will come. Soon." So I worked. Even harder than before.

You were there Lord. When I held that little girl tightly. Or when for a brief moment, the little boy saw me as a friend. And when she prayed to You. The most innocent and loving pray to a big and powerful creator. You saw her. And smiled with me. Child-like faith is what is asked. I could take a few lessons from these amazing children.

You were there Lord. When laughter was exchanged for the first time in weeks. A family united again. Love seemed to be sparking fires. Blazing bright. A pure love. Genuine. Unwavering. The warm embraces of cherished loved ones so unknown to me. So unimaginable. But they were real. At least for someone. I stood amazed. I'm sure You laughed. Family love like that does exist.

You were there Lord. When the room was crowded. And there was a sticky weight to the air. Surrounded on all sides. But hearing nothing. A deafening silence was ringing through my head. I was doing it again... Despite my attempts to correct my flaw. I waited. I tried not to say much. I failed. I tripped over a few sentences. And I tried to run away. But got no where new. Again. I'm sure You laughed. I know I did. Maybe Your plan is much better for me. No.. I know it is.

I seem to be stumbling through my days lately. Sporadically placing one foot in front of the other. Hoping the end of the day comes soon. But I feel You with me more than ever. I feel You carrying me. I feel You providing. Providing quiet. Peace. Joy. Love. You remind me that You are there. You are always there. You will always be there. You are going out before me. Preparing the way. And preparing hearts. You silently wait. For your wayward Daughter. While I regain my footing. While I remember those steps of confidence I used to take.