Full.

Am I a satisfied soul?
Do I not long for anything?
Am I not seeking anything?

If I am satisfied with this world and the things of this world, I will never long for God. I will never be thankful in all circumstances. If I am full of this world, I will grow bitter when the Lord tries to grow me. When the Lord's sovereign hand gives and takes away. Bitterness will take hold. Root itself deep in my heart.

But to a hungry soul, everything given is sweet.
Trials. Tribulations. Sorrow. Pain.
Are all sweet when our soul is craving the Lord. When our souls are filled by the world, we are temporarily satisfied. Momentarily filled. Until the hard times come.

What are we going to fill ourselves with?
What are we going to long for?
God or the world?
To be filled with momentary pleasure or to long for something eternal?

Sorrowful Joy.

This isn’t the easy way.
The path of least resistance.
No. This is more. Much more.
And deeper.

These are the hard choices made easily.
A love so real,
That even death cannot part.

This is the breaking of a heart;
A willing break;
The decision to die.
So that He can shine through my death.
His death cost too much for me to not live this way.
His death freed me.

A breaking heart in light of this is nothing.
The sound is one of joy,
Sorrowful joy.
Now I give. Everything.
With no second thought.

He had loved me completely.
And now I will gladly give it all away.
To speak truth,
To sharpen my sisters,
Means more than my broken heart.

“We should give our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
Our lives. Entirely.
There is more joy in giving than receiving.
I give my heart. For the Body of Christ.

I am training my heart.
That I may know His love for my sisters,
Above my love for myself.
Love is a choice. Not just a feeling.

I love you, sister. More than you realize.
Every word was spoken in pain.
I count none of it as loss.
Or sacrifice.

He can use me as He wishes.
It’s His right.
And my honor.
All for His glory.