A Weak Vessel.

I am a weak vessel.
A body broken.
Young. But frail.
And You. You use the weak.

You've blessed me with a gift.
So unimaginable.
So undeserved.
And some days unwanted.

Today.
I feel my flesh failing.
I feel it giving in.
Every breath is a struggle.
But the tears fall freely without a sound.

Today.
I want to give in.
I want to finally be taken home.
My ailing body is exhausted.
And longs to be made eternal.

I will endure this.
Because You endured my sin.
I will count this as joy.
Because You will shine in my imperfection.

You've chosen me.
To bear this burden.
To share this blessing.
Your power is made perfect in my weakness.
And You want me to be weak.
For when I am weak, I am strong.
Strong in You.

Heart Attack.

It's beating.
Still faint.
But it's beating just the same.

It's mangled.
Still bleeding.
But it's still beautiful to You.

It's healing.
Changing shades.
But this time there's no pain.

It's different.
A new rhythm.
But the pace is refreshing.

It's comfortable.
A perfect fit.
But Your heart always belonged here.

It's thriving.
Wonderfully strong.
But You knew that all along.

A Changed Life

I'm dying today.
Attending my own funeral.
Of past regrets. Fears. Guilt.
I've hurt You. Father. Friend.
I've been unwilling. Cold. Immovable.
But it's time.
I've been consumed.
By the battle in my mind.
The hidden battlefield.
I've grown numb.
To the war waging in the world.
I'm focusing now.
Fixing my gaze straight ahead.
No looking down. No fear.
I'm grasping.
Hands full. Clinging.
My Sword in my left.
Your Hand in my right.
Taking thoughts captive.
Setting slaves free.
And when I fall. When I fail.
It will be guiltless.
I'll smile. Grow. Change.
The joy. Excitement. Comfort.
A changed life.