Friday, October 23, 2009

Flesh and Blood.

The punch hit as you slammed the door.
Your words, like stones, shattered my once strong heart.
Your stare, like fire, set aflame my once strong body.
You caught me off guard.
You brought me to my knees. Again.

I always wanted to impress you.
Win your friendship. Win your love.
I dreamed of having your life.
Your looks. Your friends. Your presence.
Girls wanted to be you. Boys wanted to have you.
And they were sure to tell me.

You had it all. And I tried to follow.
You sang. I sang. You danced. I danced. You sought God. I sought. You dated. I dated. You fell from God. I fell.

But I've found my way back.
Everyday since then I wonder.
Pray. Wait. Cry. For you.
I cry til it hurts. Til my chest is bound to burst. Til I can't breathe.

You wander. Lost. Broken. Miserable.
You told me that was how life went
You told me that I was to suffer the same fate.
To be Lost. Broken. Miserable.
You're wrong.

We are the Lord's children.
His daughters. His masterpieces.
And He has big plans for us.
Both of us.
All that you've done. And will do. Is covered by Christ.
He knows. And loves you dearly.

The truth is I never knew you.
Despite my desperate longing to.
The truth is you don't want to know me.
We are of the same flesh. And the same blood.
But that doesn't hold much weight. Nothing does these days.
These days I am one of His. One of God's beloved.

The Lord has taken my shame. He has taken my guilt.
But just so you know..
I'm sorry. For getting sick. For splitting the family. For almost dying.
I'm sorry. For getting attention. For being distant. For seeming care-free.
I'm sorry. For what I said. For what I did. For what I forgot.
I'm sorry for hurting you. And for hating you. And for trying to out-do you.

I love you. More than you can imagine

Monday, October 12, 2009

Cold Air.

Conviction like cold air struck me. It caught me defenseless. With my guard down.
I couldn't fight. Shouldn't fight. Can't fight.

Today. God spoke. And He made me hear. Despite my disregard. Lately I've been
Pharisaical. Hypocritical. Self-Righteous.

Deceived again. By the Serpent. But that's not who I am. Not who I'm called to be. I am
Beloved. Blameless. Behooved.

I know. I need to understand this. I breathe in one deep breath. This cold air is cleansing. Things are
Coherent. Illuminated. Tranquil.

The Tempter. He holds no power. Except that which I give to him. It's gone too far. Now I'm
Saying No. Fighting Back. Standing Firm.

Now. And forevermore. I am known by my Father. The one who created me. I'm His
Child. Treasure. Masterpiece.