By My Side.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Striving. In the wrong direction. Struggling. For worthless things And fighting Him. Sometimes with everything I have in me. I try to live for my own desires. I try to force my will into His. That's not how it works. I forget far to easily that He loves me. He desires the best plans for my life. He freely gives infinite amounts of grace. And it can't be taken away. So why am I crying? Because I turn away. I turn away from Him in shame. In embarrassment. In fear. In anger. In pride. He loving reaches down to lift up my sullen face. And I turn away.

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

I turn away. And search fervently for love. I search for things to fill my mind. Thinking that maybe I will be the one time that God gives up. That God walks away. All the while He is lovingly calling me back... "Daughter. Come home." And I turn. And try to run from Him. I try to outsmart my creator. But luckily. He knows me. He knows my ways. He knows where I run to. Before my feet take off. And when they do start moving. He is there.

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

He is there. And down the street. And around the corner. And four towns over. He is by my side. And in front of me. And behind me. Where ever I end up. Whatever mess I find myself in. No matter how I feel. He is there. Even when He has taken everyone else away from me. Alone. Whenever I need Him. He always shows up. Even when I don't want Him to. Even when I fight. I fight His loving hands that tenderly try to hold me. But I fight with all that's in me. My pride gets in the way. I would rather throw myself a pity party then accept a supernatural love. He longs to hold me in His hands.

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

His hands. His side. By His wounds. I was healed. Death lost it's curse. He took everything I have done. Am doing. Will do. He took it all. Every one of my imperfections. They were nailed to the cross with Him. All for one thing. To carry me to everlasting life. He died to hold me. He died to give me life.

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

He died. To give me life. Not to boast about His greatness. To restore my life. Because of His unfailing love for me. He loves me. He is jealous for me. He craves my affection. He wants to prove His love. He wants me to know that He died for me. He wants me to feel the weight of His affection. The pressure of His greatest mystery. The mystery of loving me. Not only does He love. He hasn't given up. He doesn't give up. He won't give up. Through all my pushing. He holds on. By my side.