Lord. You are faithful. Even when I'm not. Even when I want to run and hide. You are faithful. So many times recently I have thought about doing just that. Running. Hiding. Pretending I was different. In a different place. A different city. Anywhere. And that's usually what I do. I'm a runner by nature. I run to avoid. Run to escape. Run to hide. But You wouldn't let me go. You wouldn't let me leave. You called me to be still. And luckily. I listened..
I've been praying for over a year for this day. And Lord. You answered. I had begun believing that You were ignoring my plea. But today the answer came. Lord. You are faithful. I called. You answered. You came through. But it is painful sometimes. You answer according to Your will, not mine. And it hurts. But the simple fact that You did answer proves Your love.
Month after month I've prayed that You would break my heart so You could claim it fully as Your own. And I thought I was there. I thought You had it all. But I was wrong. The wonderful thing is... I feel that You have broken my heart completely out of love. And though there is pain, I can feel You slowing repairing the destruction.
Lord. Teach me to dream again. Teach me to love. Teach me to wait. Teach me to move. Teach me to be bold. Teach me to be free. Teach me to fight the good fight. With my whole heart.
Even though my unfaithfulness rings loud and clear... You know my heart. You know my love for You. I know I don't deserve Your love. I know I'm completely unworthy of such a wonderful friend. I know You are watching over me tonight. I know You are near. And that is what is keeping me here. My body longs to run. Far. Away from here. Somewhere different. Somewhere new. But Your love is keeping me here. Your love has kept my feet and my roots firmly planted. I will not run. I will not hide. I couldn't escape You even if I tried. Your steadfast love and faithfulness endure forever. And I am so grateful for that.
Lord. You are faithful.
